My Voice

My Voice

titling my memoir

as you can see, i have already titled my memoir but if you can come up with something better than the title i came up with, please let me know

Thoughtful word choices

instead of walked, bad, good, fun, nice, etc, you could do...

WALKED: step, stride, stroll, saunter, run...

BAD: depraved, corrupt, base, sinful, criminal...

GOOD:pure, moral, conscientious, meritorious, worthy, exemplary, upright, commendable, admirable, obedient, heedful, kindly, benevolent, humane, gracious, obliging, full, adequate, profitable, useful, serviceable, beneficial, efficient, proficient, capable, able, ready, suited, suitable, dexterous, expert...

FUN:Joyful, enjoyable, pleasure...

NICE:friendly, delicate, polite, caring...

Sentence length variety

short
“Bambi." My dad instructed.

medium

"Okey dokey artichokey, what are we going to name him?” So I sat in a chair in between my mom and sister.

long
As my dad began to ask what name we wanted for our kitten, the small sized kitten began to rub his face on my leg and upon the chair I was currently sitting in.

rough draft two

“Mommy, Mommy, I’m home! It was so much fun at the park!” I cried out being a five year old little girl at the front door. “SHH! Ellie, you need to be quiet. Your sister has a very high fever.” Mom was scolding me like always as I stared at my sister. Then, all of a sudden, this shadow, darker than the midnight sky bolted out of a corner. I screamed bloody murder. I hid behind my mother as I stammered, “wwhat is that, mommy?” she answered calmly as wind as she stepped aside pulling me in front of her, “that,” she told me, “is our new kitten.” “A kitty?!” I cried. I was so happy that I began to twirl in big circles. I raced over to where our new kitten was. “Kitty, come here!” I was shouted pointing at the floor in front of me. “Honey, if you yell at him, he won’t come. Why don’t you go upstairs and wash your hands and he might come out by then.” My dad instructed me. “O.K.” I replied as I skipped up the stairs. Wait a second…what are we going to name him? I wondered in my head. When I returned down stairs, my parents and sister were waiting patiently for me at our kitchen table. “Okey dokey artichokey, what are we going to name him?” I asked with a hint of curiosity in my voice. “Well, we were just about to discuss that topic. So sit down Ellie.” My dad once again instructed. So I sat in a chair in between my mom and sister. As my dad began to ask what name we wanted for our kitten, the small sized kitten began to rub his face on my leg and upon the chair I was currently sitting in. “Bambi” I said with out thinking and in monolog. “BAMBI?!” my family cried out in unison. I glanced up. “What? Why are all of you guys staring at me?” I asked feeling like a show dog. “Why would you want to name a cat Bambi? That’s really weird, Ellie.” My sister said in her big sister voice while shaking her head. “Well, how about Bamboo?” my mom suggested. “And it is close to Bambi.” My dad added. “Hmm. I don’t know about that guys. Hey I know! We can let the kitty decide. We will call Bambi then Bamboo and see which one he comes to.” I suggested feeling like superman that saver the day. “Great idea Ellie” or “excellent thinking” came a chorus from my family. “Okay. Can I call the names out?” I asked pleading with my eyes. “Sure go ahead Ellie.” My dad replied urging me with his hand. “YES! Okay here I go. Bambi come here.” I cried out. But he just sat where he was, swinging his tail back and forth rapidly as he stared at me, giving me a hard look. “o.k.… Bamboo come here.” I called out hoping he would come. And… he did. As soon as I had said Bamboo, he stopped swinging his tail and began to purr as he stepped closer to our family. “Bamboo it is!” my dad cried out as I picked up our new family pet, our cat Bamboo.

"hot spot"

All of a sudden, this shadow, darker than the midnight sky bolted out of a corner. it was my brand new cat. i was so scared it felt as almost ran me over with a car but had stoped in time.

Interior monologue

"Wait a second…what are we going to name him?" since this is sentence is a thought and noone had actually said it, you put it in italics. for example, "Wait a second…what are we going to name him?" is a thought, we will change it to, Wait a second…what are we going to name him?